When I was still taking, well, being forced to take, mock SATs (for my own good) – I recall on one such occasion the essay prompt was:
“To what extent do you agree with the following statement: Parents have the utmost influence over how their children end up voting.”
My current self (having studied voting behavior) can tell you without hesitation that parents and family upbringing are a crucial aspect of developing a political disposition, including several other significant factors. However, on the day of this exam as I pondered the question, I struggled momentarily in how I would proceed.
I think I was fifteen at the time, and like most fifteen year old girls I was starting to come into my own. Fifteen Year Old Bella could not be told a thing. I wanted to live my life so badly, it felt more necessity than desire. So, faced with having to support an argument that essentially gave my parents credit for anything having to do with me (let alone something as democracy symbolizing and freethinking as voting??) was preposterous.
“Yes, I strongly agree that parents influence their children…”
HA! That was never going to happen.
<< *Alexa, play Independent by Webbie ft. Boosie Badazz and LilPhat * >>
However, it was just as inconceivable to plan an essay around the idea that parents have absolutely no control over how their children think – they just do. I was stubborn, not stupid.
As you can see, Fifteen Year Old Bella was in a bind. So, I qualified the answer, saying it was equal parts nature and nurture. Symbolically, in that mock SAT essay, I gave my parents credit for their production while maintaining that I too had contributed to my development in my own unique way. (I’m rolling my eyes at Fifteen Year Old Bella too, it’s ok, you can laugh).
Presently, this essay is a symbolic rewrite of that first try. A tribute to my misgivings. Today, I give my parents full ownership of what they did. I find Steve and Alayna MooreWeathers guilty for the steady and tireless creation of a smart, hardworking, quasi fearless, compassionate young woman who has graduated with her first degree and is about to live in another country for ten months. What. A. Crime.
I am my parent’s child, and I am unfathomably grateful for that fact. This is not to deny the aspects to my person which I do believe are sourced directly, but it is full recognition that without Steve and Alayna as my guiding lights I could very well be a bumbling fool. There are so many key pieces to my puzzle that if they hadn’t been placed when they were…well, it just wouldn’t be the same puzzle. My parents have given me so much, tangible and intangible, and when I think about it all I get overwhelmed. I don’t know how to express the gratitude I feel, and two words have never seemed proper compensation.
I have never felt concerned; I have never felt fear; I have never felt inadequate; because, I have always been taken care of. I have always been prepared. I have always been provided the tools to be successful. And if I did not already have the certain tool I needed? Well, I was taught the ways in which to procure the tool, or even how to create a makeshift tool, that would get me by. Do you know what that is like, to feel security? To know, that no matter what, no matter where I go, or what could possibly happen, I will be ok? That feeling is priceless. And it’s not because I have a trust fund I can fall on, honey no.
<< *Alexa, play I Need A Dollar by Aloe Blacc* >>
It is because I have great. ass. parents. Whenever I feel insecure, all I have to do is remind myself of the stock that I came from.
I have the grace, confidence, style, beauty, eloquence, and determination of Alayna MooreWeathers. I have the patience, calm, positivity, seemingly unlimited luck, humor, and conscience of Stephen MooreWeathers. I was raised with all pieces of both of them, and those that made them, and those that made the ones that made them! It is truly god. I carry with me everywhere I go a strong lineage of people who get things done, and do so with love. I have been surrounded by love all my life, and supported all my life. It is because of this that I will always be ok.
Now what to make of everything that I have been given? I don’t know possibly where to start. What I have settled on for now though, that I deem adequate, is continuing to make these individuals that raised me proud. I will live my potential, and show the world what MooreWeathers stock is capable of. I believe this is the best way I can show my gratitude, for now. One day, when I’m salaried and my loans are paid off, I’ll buy them a trip or something like that. As a start.
But for now,
Cheers to love. Cheers to god. Cheers to a beautiful life.
& thank you.
22 and Counting 